Food Art

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$The purpose of this story is to show that if you have experienced something like this, it's nothing to be ashamed of because it's not your fault. It's also dope to be real. - My sophomore year of college has especially thrown a lot of trash at me. In high school, running was my passion. I could never imagine that being taken away. Today, I have not ran in 10 months and raced in 2.5 years. - - - 2.5 years, 5 stress fractures, and 40+ pounds later, I've never had a chance to experience the same joy. Running is not my life, but it's how I got here. - During the summer before my freshman year of college, my ex-doctor ordered me to put on 20 pounds in two months before I would be "cleared" to run on the team even though I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder. - - I accomplished that medical order with trust. However, that required plenty of habit changes, which violently turned against me, and carry on to this day. My body took on eating to cope with setbacks, leaving me trapped in this damn coat of lipids. - - I could care less about how I look, but it's what this 40 pounds symbolizes: loss of control and weakness. This year, this body was making it's own decisions. I hate this body for taking control of my life, giving me 5 stress fractures, and deciding to waste time to binge eat. Hell, its the reason why I can't wear contacts. - - I cut off some people and stopped posting much on social media because I don't want be seen. I know it's this body that's doing that and I'm not defined by it, but the mass reminds me of all the setbacks. I won't do this again because I'll learn from this. - I hate this body because it's the reason I keep getting injured - physically and mentally. Every step I take exerts a greater force on my foot because F=ma. Since it's not used to the higher m, Body's like, "how bout let's give you another stress fracture, which means it's time to increase affinity to food so that we can further increase m as it's directly proportional to F, and F is directly proportional to stress fracture!" And I'm like, "wtf body what does food have anything to do with this?" Then body takes the wheel. Continued below$

$Facebook reminded me that 3 years ago, I broke a 34 year old school record in the 3200m. I have been injured ever since January 2015. Stress fractures simply love my left leg, as they have decided to invite themselves over 5 times without letting me know ahead of time. The last time I raced was at Footlocker Nationals in December 2014, I had a lot of hope in running after the track and cross country seasons in 2014. - For the next 5/2 years, the thought of never running fast again due to factors out of my control made me feel as if my life was out of control. Topping the other negative things that happened which were not my fault, I lost plenty of motivation. - During the last month, I’ve felt the most content since 2014 because I completely let go of things that I can not control. I’ve reached a threshold where I was tired of being unhappy with myself. I forced myself to stop caring about things out of my control, stopped comparing myself to who I was in the past, and stopped going on social media every day, it worked. - - I still plan to run again by taking it one day at a time, living in the moment, focusing on things in my control, and finding the positives in every situation by seeing everything as a learning opportunity. Hopefully running can come together and be lit again. - - I’m still setting records, but this time, I set a record in life persistence. If I knew that if this were to happen to running in 2014, I would have became a salty person, but now, I know better. However, in a way, not running has allowed me to find my passion in video game design and art, that I am designing my own game today. - - The only time that you should look back is to see how far you've come. 😎$

$I recently got my MRI results back and learned that my stress fracture in my shin is completely healed, and my stress fracture in my foot is 80-90% healed. - - I’ve been in the big black boot for 10 weeks, and then crutches with the big black boot for the first two weeks. I only biked this whole time (which allowed me to rediscover my enjoyment of anime, which I used to watch all the time in middle school when I had more time. Sword Art Online and Fullmetal Alchemist are dope). - - Now I get to enjoy biking without the boot and tomorrow I get to take off the boot. I haven't felt this much hope in running for the past 8.5 months of not being able to run and kind of removing it from my life.$

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$Facebook reminded me that 3 years ago, I broke a 34 year old school record in the 3200m. I have been injured ever since January 2015. Stress fractures simply love my left leg, as they have decided to invite themselves over 5 times without letting me know ahead of time. The last time I raced was at Footlocker Nationals in December 2014, I had a lot of hope in running after the track and cross country seasons in 2014. - For the next 5/2 years, the thought of never running fast again due to factors out of my control made me feel as if my life was out of control. Topping the other negative things that happened which were not my fault, I lost plenty of motivation. - During the last month, I’ve felt the most content since 2014 because I completely let go of things that I can not control. I’ve reached a threshold where I was tired of being unhappy with myself. I forced myself to stop caring about things out of my control, stopped comparing myself to who I was in the past, and stopped going on social media every day, it worked. - - I still plan to run again by taking it one day at a time, living in the moment, focusing on things in my control, and finding the positives in every situation by seeing everything as a learning opportunity. Hopefully running can come together and be lit again. - - I’m still setting records, but this time, I set a record in life persistence. If I knew that if this were to happen to running in 2014, I would have became a salty person, but now, I know better. However, in a way, not running has allowed me to find my passion in video game design and art, that I am designing my own game today. - - The only time that you should look back is to see how far you've come. 😎 @irungracepace$

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